I would like to apologize that I didn’t manage to blog 7 days straight cos I was busy planning my birthday and life happened. In fact, I just got back from a conference in Kuala Lumpur that my work place has sent me to attend. So I would like to pick up where I have left off!
I am 29 years and 15 days old today. How do I feel about turning 29? I feel normal. I’m not concern about my age or me getting old. I’m just chilling, just enjoying my cup of coffee right at this moment.
So after living for 29 years, I wanted to reflect on important life lessons that I’ve learnt and have infused the essence in me. All these life lessons actually shaped me to the person I am today. They are part of my life experiences, challenges, ups and downs that I’ve faced.
Everything has its own timing
There will be moments that you thought at a certain age, you should be achieving some achievements in your life. For instance, you have to be married or you need to have a few assets before you hit a certain age. When I was in my tender years of early 20s, I’ve set myself to settle down before the age of 28. I thought that my ex would marry me. But oh boy, how I was wrong! Not only I didn’t get married, I got dumped when I was 27. I was devastated and I was afraid that I would grow old and nobody would want me anymore.
But during those dark times, I brought myself near to God. I learnt that all beautiful, life changing events that are meant to be, those things take time. They will definitely happen when the right time comes. After accepting that revelation, I don’t rush things any longer. There was a time before the revelation, I asked God why hasn’t He send me a true companion. And that time I’ve been single for 10 months plus. I really wanted someone to love me cos I have this insecurities that guys didn’t like me. But after putting my faith and trust in Him, I didn’t put much thoughts into looking for a boyfriend.
Beautiful things happened in the most beautiful and unexpected moment, that what happened to and Clarence, my fiancé. A good friend of ours, Esther introduced us to each other and in less than a year, we got engaged. We kept saying how smooth everything was when it comes to our relationship, my parents said the same thing too. It really is what is meant to be, will be.
Important life lessons #1: Life is not a competition
I have been compared to since I was small. And that my friend, is one of the perks of growing up in an Asian family. As I become older, it didn’t bother me anymore and I get the hang of it. I just go all zone out when I heard those kind of chit-chat. We too can’t avoid being compared by those whom we thought are friends. There are days that I feel that my life is getting more and more negative. I don’t feel any intimidation at all because as a friend, I will support them wholeheartedly on what they do. For me, I am only competing with myself and I will achieve want I want to achieve according to my own timing, to my own effort.
Important life lessons #2: Not to be too hard on myself
I always thought that I am never enough, I need to constantly improve myself. That has led me to my master degree journey because of the constant thought that my knowledge isn’t sufficient. Even after having a job, I always thought that there will be someone that is more qualified and I’ll be replaced easily. That made me tend to do more work to the point that I bring my work home.
As older I get, I start to see my own worth, what I am capable of. The hunt for knowledge and skills, trying new things has never left me. I see these opportunities as to make improve myself. I know that the insecurities I have will never fully vanish. But some of them are replaced by a healthy amount of ego and pride of my own achievements.
Important life lessons #3: Stop chasing for one-sided friendship
This will definitely happen at some point in our lives. Life happens to all of us and somehow circumstances change the way we live our lives. I have experience friends who give back the same amount of effort in a friendship and also those who don’t. As I get older and life gets ever more hectic, there are no time for negativity. Therefore, I choose to nurture friendships and relationships that return me the love and effort that I have put into.
Of course I feel sad for the friendships that used to be great and only look for me when they need help. And thankfully, I don’t dwell in the frustration anymore. I accepted the fact that not everyone will stay in my life and that’s okay. It’s good and that allows me to have more time and effort to nurture on sincere friendship and people who really love me.
Big 3-0 is approaching and big events in life is starting to happen like getting married, building a home, planning a family. It’s definitely going to be such a crazy phase in our lives, it’s good that we are reminded of important lessons that we have learnt to help us stay sane.
Until next post, Jess x.