Important Life Lessons I’ve Learnt After 29 Years Of Living


    I would like to apologize that I didn’t manage to blog 7 days straight cos I was busy planning my birthday and life happened. In fact, I just got back from a conference in Kuala Lumpur that my work place has sent me to attend. So I would like to pick up where I have left off!

    This is the 6th post so please head on to read my 1st2nd3rd4th and 5th posts if you haven’t!

    I am 29 years and 15 days old today. How do I feel about turning 29? I feel normal. I’m not concern about my age or me getting old. I’m just chilling, just enjoying my cup of coffee right at this moment.

    So after living for 29 years, I wanted to reflect on important life lessons that I’ve learnt and have infused the essence in me. All these life lessons actually shaped me to the person I am today. They are part of my life experiences, challenges, ups and downs that I’ve faced.

    Everything has its own timing

    There will be moments that you thought at a certain age, you should be achieving some achievements in your life. For instance, you have to be married or you need to have a few assets before you hit a certain age. When I was in my tender years of early 20s, I’ve set myself to settle down before the age of 28. I thought that my ex would marry me. But oh boy, how I was wrong! Not only I didn’t get married, I got dumped when I was 27. I was devastated and I was afraid that I would grow old and nobody would want me anymore.

    But during those dark times, I brought myself near to God. I learnt that all beautiful, life changing events that are meant to be, those things take time. They will definitely happen when the right time comes. After accepting that revelation, I don’t rush things any longer. There was a time before the revelation, I asked God why hasn’t He send me a true companion. And that time I’ve been single for 10 months plus. I really wanted someone to love me cos I have this insecurities that guys didn’t like me. But after putting my faith and trust in Him, I didn’t put much thoughts into looking for a boyfriend.

    Beautiful things happened in the most beautiful and unexpected moment, that what happened to and Clarence, my fiancé. A good friend of ours, Esther introduced us to each other and in less than a year, we got engaged. We kept saying how smooth everything was when it comes to our relationship, my parents said the same thing too. It really is what is meant to be, will be.

    Important life lessons #1: Life is not a competition

    I have been compared to since I was small. And that my friend, is one of the perks of growing up in an Asian family. As I become older, it didn’t bother me anymore and I get the hang of it. I just go all zone out when I heard those kind of chit-chat. We too can’t avoid being compared by those whom we thought are friends. There are days that I feel that my life is getting more and more negative. I don’t feel any intimidation at all because as a friend, I will support them wholeheartedly on what they do. For me, I am only competing with myself and I will achieve want I want to achieve according to my own timing, to my own effort.

    Important life lessons #2: Not to be too hard on myself

    I always thought that I am never enough, I need to constantly improve myself. That has led me to my master degree journey because of the constant thought that my knowledge isn’t sufficient. Even after having a job, I always thought that there will be someone that is more qualified and I’ll be replaced easily. That made me tend to do more work to the point that I bring my work home.

    As older I get, I start to see my own worth, what I am capable of. The hunt for knowledge and skills, trying new things has never left me. I see these opportunities as to make improve myself. I know that the insecurities I have will never fully vanish. But some of them are replaced by a healthy amount of ego and pride of my own achievements.

    Important life lessons #3: Stop chasing for one-sided friendship

    This will definitely happen at some point in our lives. Life happens to all of us and somehow circumstances change the way we live our lives. I have experience friends who give back the same amount of effort in a friendship and also those who don’t. As I get older and life gets ever more hectic, there are no time for negativity. Therefore, I choose to nurture friendships and relationships that return me the love and effort that I have put into.

    Of course I feel sad for the friendships that used to be great and only look for me when they need help. And thankfully, I don’t dwell in the frustration anymore. I accepted the fact that not everyone will stay in my life and that’s okay. It’s good and that allows me to have more time and effort to nurture on sincere friendship and people who really love me.


    Big 3-0 is approaching and big events in life is starting to happen like getting married, building a home, planning a family. It’s definitely going to be such a crazy phase in our lives, it’s good that we are reminded of important lessons that we have learnt to help us stay sane.


    Until next post, Jess x.




    How I Relax After a Long Work Day

    and breath
    I’m blogging 7 days straight for my project “7 Days Birthday Countdown 2018” to commemorate my age being in its last days of 28.
    This is the 5th post so please head on to read my 1st2nd3rd and 4th posts if you haven’t!

    There will be a day or days that all of us would feel so exhausted from work and you just can’t wait to go home. I had 3 classes today so yeah today was a long day indeed. I was beat up walking to the car and I was quite sleepy when I was driving too. Probably because I’m on my period but still, I really need a good relaxing time. I’m going to share with you guys ways I relax after a long day at work!

    When I arrive home, what I would do is to take some time, sit and relax even though I know there are chores that are waiting for me. I make myself a mug of coffee and I sit at the kitchen sometime alone or with my parents, chit-chat with them on how our days were.

    After coffee, chores!

    I’m still living with my parents so I’m responsible to some of the house chores.  So after I had my relaxing time with my coffee, I would normally do my chores immediately. It’s because I don’t want to waste too much time and I just want to get everything done. The sooner I’m done with the chores, the sooner I get to relax. So my chores on a weekday is to cook dinner, do the dishes and laundry. So I do the laundry first cos that takes the longest time to do and at the same time. I start to cook dinner. After having dinner with the family, then I’ll do the dishes and finishing up the laundry. Voila, DONE!

    Diffusing essential oils

    One of my favourite things to do when I’m in my room is to diffuse essential oils! I just love how my room smells and I love the calming scent of diffusing essential oils. My favourite oil blends to diffuse for relaxation are Young & Living’s Essential Oils Stress Away + Lavender and Lavender + Lemon. These 2 blends really worked in putting me into the relax, zen mode that I want to.

    Doing my ‘get unready’

    It feels so satisfying when I can finally remove all the makeup that I have on my face. The feeling of having clean face is just priceless. To unstrap my bra too is a heavenly feeling, releasing the pressure off from my chest area feels really good! On a really long day, I usually take longer shower cos I just love the feeling of the water washing away all the stress from my body. I get myself super clean that I even do some shaving done as well.

    Putting my CMxJJ Wedding Playlist on!

    Listening to relaxing music or the music that you love can also have an effect on your mood. Listening to the playlist that I’ve made for Clarence and I on Spotify really help me to relax. Since we’re in a long distance relationship, it helps in making me feel at ease and also as if I’m close to my fiancè.

    Clay mask time!

    Another thing that I love to when I want to relax is to put mask on my face! I love the L’oreal Anti-Pores Clay Mask because of the funky green colour that make me look like Shrek. It’s so nice to do nothing and wait for the mask to dry while listening to CMxJJ wedding playlist!


    It can take a while in finding the routine that’s right for you but it’s vital to take that time for your mental well-being. We all need to balance things up in our lives, we can’t just be kicking our ass off and not taking care of ourselves, right?


    My Top 15 Favourite Simple Pleasures in Life

    Top 15 Favourite Simple Pleasures in Life
    I’m blogging 7 days straight for my project “7 Days Birthday Countdown 2018” to commemorate my age being in its last days of 28.
    This is the 4th post so please head on to read my 1st2nd & 3rd posts if you haven’t!


    Have you ever realized when simple things occurred and they make you soo damn happy? Simple pleasures to me are those small, tiny little things that we don’t realize how big they are that they can bring us joy.

    At first, I wanted to do only 10 favourites but it’s too few for me! So I’ve added another 5 and I’m glad that I did!

    1. When my coffee is not too hot but not too cold, just the perfect temperature to my liking.
    2. Clarence, my fiancé put his hand on my lap when I’m driving and I grab his hand while steering with just 1 hand. I’m a pro driver!
    3. When my puppies and dogs welcome me home with their wiggly tails.
    4. I don’t get runny nose or sneezing the whole day cos Sinusitis is on its best behaviour.
    5. Hugging and kissing my mom before I leave for work EVERYDAY.
    6. Finalizing my blog draft and posting the blog post.
    7. Video-calling with Clarence and the first thing that we do when we see each other’s face is laugh. We just love to laugh at each other, it’s crazy!
    8. My candid pictures look beautiful and très Insta-worthy!
    9. Face-timing my sister Marsha and my brother who are now residing in West Malaysia.
    10. Watching whitehead, blackhead or comedones extraction videos and do them myself on Clarence! The satisfaction omg!
    11. Finally finish marking all students’ assessments, exam papers and be done with the semester!
    12. Woke up super early and realizing that it’s the weekend.
    13. Having Dim Sum for brunch on weekends!
    14. How easy and simple it is to fill in my brows after eyebrow waxing session!
    15. Going to Kaison just me and my youngest sister.

    Can you relate to any of them? What are your favourite simple pleasures?



    This blog was inspired by Hunida's Top 10: Favourite Simple Pleasures in Life.

    Goals for the remaining of 2018!

    calmness plant
    I’m posting for 7 days straight for my project of “7 Days Birthday Countdown 2018” to commemorate my age being in its last days of 28.
    This is the 3rd post so please head on to read my 1st and 2nd posts if you haven’t!

    Half of the 2018 has gone and left us for good and I thought it is appropriate that I review myself on the progress of my goals.

    Earlier this year, I have set a few goals for myself that I would like to achieve. You can read all about it here. So I wanted a more calming year for 2018 and so far, it really has been a calming year. Of course there are moments that I was so busy with work, catching deadlines, sleepless nights to finish work but all those tend to happen. Especially with the given nature of my job as a lecturer. But no hard feelings with that, I accepted them cos those storms didn’t last long.

    Monthly ‘me time’

    I’ve taken quite a few ‘me-time’ self pampering session, I’d say that I took myself on a date every month. And I’m proudly said that I’ve achieved that goal. I believe that these self-love sessions have made me to be in tune with myself even more. Although it is just a hair wash session at the salon that only cost me RM15, it’s enough to make me feel good.

    More like less buying

    I haven’t been able to completely stop buying impulsively cos I always buy things that caught my eyes. Those things can be cute notebooks, on-sale drugstore makeup and other things that are on sale! But I can say that I’ve bought less compared to 2017. I no longer getting packages from my online purchases every month, unlike how it was in 2017. I have also lowered my ‘entertainment’ expenditure for clothes, movies that kind of stuff since I’ll be needing to really save up for my wedding next year. So it’s best that I don’t over spend.

    Reading 10 books in 2018, EPIC FAILURE!

    In my Calmness Goals 2018, I mentioned that I wanted to read at least 10 books. Well that my fellow readers, I have failed miserably! I’m still on my way to finish the book that my fiancé gave to me for my birthday, Absolutely on Music by Murakami and Ozawa. I don’t think I’ll be able to finish 10 books this year and I think it’s going to be hard for me to finish this book too. But I’m still going to try so wish me luck!

    Learnt 2 new recipes

    I have cooked 2 meals that I’ve been wanting to learn how to prepare. Those 2 are Chicken Briyani and Chicken Rendang. I cooked both on a first try and both are huge success! I’m planning to cook these 2 dishes for my birthday lunch. My dad has bought a new oven to replace the old broken one so I’m planning to prepare Lasagna too and bake my own birthday cake. So I guess my goal to learn new recipes is on the right track!

    More quality time with the fambam!

    I love that this year I have spent more time with my family especially my parents. Even my parents showed their effort in wanting to spend more time with me. They went all out during the preparation for my engagement. And now that I’m preparing for my wedding, I always ask for their advices. I even brought my parents to my bridal session and to secure my wedding reception venue. I realized that as my wedding date is coming, I appreciate spending time with them even more.

    Learning of letting things for a calmer big 3-0.

    I can’t deny that I love my worldly stuff that I’ve come to acquire after living 29-ish years. And it’s unfortunate that I have the tendency to hoard. I know that It’s really unhealthy to live such a life. There are times that I get agitated from the mess and yet I still buy things that I don’t need. People around me have started to live a simpler live these days! Even Youtubers and bloggers that I love are starting out this way of living. To come to think of it, I would want to live simpler too. The reason for this is I really want to let the unnecessary mess that stressing me out of my life. I wish to enter into my 30’s with less clutter and a much calmer note.

    So I’m planning to sort my things up soon. For the things that I don’t need, I’m still hesitating on selling them or donate! I will be sharing my ‘Living Less’ journey when I start. It’ll be my ongoing goal starting the remaining of this year until I finally finished it! Wish me luck guys!


    I wish everybody luck with your goals this year and all of us still have time in achieving them! Yes we do!!



    10 Things I Can’t Live Without

    Things like Coffee, Bed, Macbook
    I’m posting for 7 days straight for my project of “7 Days Birthday Countdown 2018” to commemorate my age being in its last days of 28.
    This is the 2nd post and if you haven’t read my 1st post, you may head to July, My Most Favourite Month.


    After living for almost 29 years, I would say that this is the first time that I actually make a physical list on the things that are important to me. Cos before this, I only have them on my mind. Obviously family, love, my fiancé are super important to me but I don’t consider them as things. By things here I mean is the necessities, everyday items that I use in my every day life.

    In no particular order, here are my 10 things that I can’t live without!

    My iPhone

    I can’t live without it is an understatement. Totally feel dead inside if I don’t have my iPhone with me cos iPhone is my life. I basically use it 90% of my time to watch Netflix, Instagram, Google. I also use it to connect with my family and also Clarence (given that we are in a LDR). My iPhone acts as my main camera as well for now before I get myself a ‘point & shoot’ compact camera.


    I LOVE COFFEE AND I’M ADDICTED TO IT! The stronger and blacker it is, the better. I prefer my coffee unsweetened and my usual order would be either Kopi-o ping, Kopi ping Kaw, Iced Latte extra shot, Long Black or Iced Americano.


    As soon as Netflix was made available in Malaysia, I subscribed to it immediately! Ever since my dad has cancelled most of interesting channels from our cable subscription, I don’t really watch TV anymore. So grateful for HDMI cable that I’m able to connect my laptop to my TV when I crave for watching Netflix on a larger screen.

    My Bed

    I spend most of my time there. Although it may not be the most comfiest bed probably because of the other mess that I have other than my pillows (my clothes, books etc), I still love that queen sized bed of mine!

    Young Living Essential Oils and Diffuser

    So I’ve just started to venture into the world of oils and I fell in love quite immediately. Before the decision to buy it, I read through a lot of the benefits from essential oil and how it can be used as a natural remedy for almost everything. I was actually googling natural remedy for my Sinusitis and Eczema and essential oils came at the top of the search result. After 1 month plus treating both of my conditions with essential oils, I’ve becoming less relying on meds. Of course there are days that Sinusitis and Eczema came to attack but it has become bearable. All I need is to diffuse RC when I have my bad Sinusitis days and to massage Lavender on to the Eczema. No chemical, just natural essential oils.

    My Skincare Routine

    I have 2 skincare routines that I do everyday, religiously! They used to be more than 6 steps in a routine but now I only have 4 steps in the morning and 6 for night. I just feel that it is important for me to have really good skin since I don’t wear much makeup. If I have to choose 1 product that I can’t live without from the bunch, it would be The Ordinary Lactic Acid 10% cos it really helped me in combating acne or zits from popping out.

    Makeup: Brow Pencil, Gel Eyeliner and Lipstick

    For my everyday look, I’m pretty basic. I’m the type who likes to let my skin breath so I don’t wear foundation on a daily basis. So all I do to my face everyday is I do my brow using Silky Girl’s Perfect Brow Liner. What I like about this brow kit is that it has gel liner at 1 end and powder and the other. Very convenient that I don’t have to bring my brow powder kit. I only have 1 go-to gel eyeliner and it’s the Maybelline’s Lasting Drama Gel Eyeliner. As for my lipstick, I usually wear whatever colour according to my mood but my go-to would be my Kat Von D’s Lolita II and my orangey lipcream that is from Too Faced Melted Matte Lipstick in Gingerbread.

    Disco era 70’s Songs

    I listen to this genre, every single day! This kind of songs actually boost my mood when I’m not in the right mood, PMS or even sick. I felt so much better when listening to them and made me want to dance. It all started by my parents, my siblings and I have been listening to disco songs at a very early age. My favourite would be Boney M’s version of Sunny, Rock with You by Michael Jackson. I also love September by Earth, Wind & Fire and I was thinking for it to become my entrance song during my wedding.

    Reading Glasses

    I am blind and I’m like literally can’t see what’s in front of me without my glasses. I like contact lens but it’s so troublesome to wear in the morning and it’s another chore when I need to take it off! Yes, I am that lazy Lol!

    Laptop and Internet

    Okay these 2 things are important since my job as a lecturer requires me to do all my work on my laptop and Internet is to look for information to aid in my teaching. But I won’t be denying that I also use the laptop for nonwork-related stuff too.


    You know what, I actually love doing this kind of list. It’s so fun to read!

    Share with me what are 10 things that you can’t live without!