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A rant, the return of a missing blogger…

Hey blog, I’m back to you after so long. The reason for the long hiatus is because I just can’t seem to find the muse to blog. It’s just that I’ve been so overwhelmed with the things that I do on a daily basis, work and other responsibilities. Until to a certain point, I honestly feel that blogging is just another “added burden” into my already busy life. I am occupied even during weekends cos since I am in a long distance relationship with Clarence, we only get to see each other and spend time together only on weekends. And when we are together, we are not on our phones all the time, what more with other devices.

I just need to voice out this thing that I’ve been keeping it in for so long and it is actually about moving out! I’ve been living with my parents for as long as I could remember. I never had the chance to live away from my parents even during my study years cos I was studying in a local private university. Well, I did stay away from my parents once but that was only for a short period of 4 months during my practical at Shangri-la Rasa Ria, Tuaran. Those 4 months of living out is actually one of times where I feel truly independent cos I can just go out whenever I want, going home how late and wake up early or late.

I’m so sure that there are times that all of us just wanted to sleep in, not caring what time do we wake up cos we are just so tired with work or life. But with me still living with my parents, I can’t just do that. My parents will definitely yelled at me for waking up so late in the day and start to tell the tale of teenage girls during their time and girls in this era and start yapping about how lazy the girls are these days that need the parents to wake them up instead the girls wake themselves. They just couldn’t fathom that I can get so mentally stressed from work at this young age and sleeping in is not an option. For them sleeping in is only for lazy people.

Now that my sister, Marsha has just recently left us to move to KL cos she got a new job there made me want to move out even more! Maybe not moving across the sea to KL but still within the KK radius. Her moving to KL for me is a brave act cos she herself has never live away from home before in her life and she has taken the bold step not to just move out from our parents house but to move to another state. I admire her boldness so much and now I want to follow her footsteps too.

As much as I want to move out so badly, my parents just won’t let me. I’ve actually discussed with my family about my intention of moving out but they are just not keen of the idea of me having to spend extra money to pay for rent whereas they just prefer that I live with them forever or up until that I get married and to live with my husband. Being the eldest means nothing to them, basically. They have this mindset that I need to be protected at all times. To them, among my siblings, you could say that I am the most delicate. Also the most pampered one, the most soft hearted, soft spoken. But I know in their heart that they know I’m the sensible, more responsible and since my dad still works with the offshore industry, so I have to replace my dad when he’s at work to take up some of his responsibilities when he’s at work.

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Wouldn’t it be nice to have a space that you call your own? The one that you could decorate it according to your dream space? I’ve complaint to Clarence before that I want to move out but I guess he’s on my parents’ side on this one.

So what a good comeback, right? Sorry that it is more of a rant than a real content. I’ll be back with more real contents soon okay.

Love,

Jess x

 

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  • Reply beatyjohn

    selalu kalau anak first mmg bnyak responsibility ni.. parents mmg akan susa mau kasi lepas..and even kalau sda kawin tu mmg parents selalu refer sama anak tua juga…

    4th November 2017 at 9:42 PM
    • Reply jesssjustine

      heran jga sy klau adik2 sy dorg ok seja tpi klau sy, punya susa dorg mo kasi benar.. tapi memg betul jga la apa ko ckp, byk responsibilities jadi anak sulung & kita slalu kena harap utk segalanya..

      6th November 2017 at 1:33 AM
      • Reply beatyjohn

        mmg tu.. sa tingu my sis kn klu apa2 pun mmg mama sa refer sm dia.. n my husband pun begitu sllu in law sa mmg will refer sm dia..

        6th November 2017 at 2:30 AM

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