Long distance relationship is hard! I admit that it is hard to be apart with your loved ones for weeks. Years may be even more painful! My previous relationship was a long distance. I guess that it was hard for my ex to keep it going and that’s probably why he cheated. And after the toxic relationship ended, I promised myself that I will not be interested to be in a long distance relationship again. But I guess God works in mysterious ways. He insisted me to be in a long distance relationship again this time around. Thankfully, it works this time!
I’ve been in a long distance relationship with Clarence, my fiancé for over a year now. For me, the best possible way that I can describe it is that it’s constantly about counting down to the time. It’s either we are counting down the time on when we will meet or how many time do we have left being together. Honestly, it really can mess with my brain if I think about it too often.
Therefore, I’m sharing 5 tips on surviving the hardships of being away with your loved ones. Cos you girl has been there, done that!
The waiting game is NEVER easy
This is the most important part, understanding the fact that it will never be easy to wait for the moment that both of you to be together again. There will be times that the feeling of missing your partner will be so intense that it can make you cry. It’s definitely normal to cry, you are human being with feelings.
But fret not, it’s not always going to be hard, I can assure you that. There will be a time that both of you are busy with work and both have hectic schedules. Please occupy your time with other things. Go try out new things, do your laundry or just make yourself busy. It’s good so that you won’t feel how slow the time goes by if it’s a far long wait till that day arrives.
Communication is KEY
No matter how busy both of you are, always have time to communicate with each other. Clarence and I are always busy with our day job but we always spare some time to text each other in the morning. We even remind each other every day to have our lunch while both of us at work. And at the end of the day if both of us haven’t fall asleep, we would call each other just to have a chat on how our day was. We normally chat about the small things until both of us fall asleep with our phones still on our ears.
Set the date
Setting a precise time to meet each other is vital too. When both of you have decided on a date or time to meet, you will automatically feel the eagerness and the excitement! It’s countdown time! You will have this sense of looking forward to the day that both of you will reunite. In our case, we don’t always plan things out like what are we going to do but we will always plan when will we meet.
Effort + compromise = love
I believe in that equation. Both you and your partner need to put in the effort to make long distance relationship works. Just do whatever it takes to help both of you not to feel the distance so much. Both must also add in fair amount of effort. Even if both of you have to tighten your budget so that you can save a little more to travel to meet your partner, just do it! You will definitely feel soo worth it when the two of you are finally together because you know efforts come from both sides.
Same goes to compromise. When it comes to distance, it’s always the case that either you or your partner have to travel far just so you two can be together. Most of the time, Clarence will be the one who drive 2 hours all the way from Beaufort just to see me in Kota Kinabalu. To compromise, there will be time that I will be the one who drive for 2 hours to see him in Beaufort. And I never let Clarence to pay everything when we go on dates. We have this mutual understanding that we will take turns in paying.
Our partner has a life too, you know
I consider myself a very clingy person. Although that I am, I would totally understand if Clarence has to do things or he’s preoccupied that he couldn’t text me. I know that Clarence has his own life and responsibilities prior having me in his life. As long as he would let me know that he won’t be available or he’s busy so that I won’t be worrying about his well-being too much. Cos I tend to overthink and I’ll get super paranoid. We also have to do our part in informing our partner too.
Again, to be in a long distance relationship is a hard work and it’s not for everyone.
To those who are still thinking about wanting to be in a long distance relationship, please think before committing. Please think whether you are the type person who can stand to be away from your partner.
And to those who are already in one, persevere and be strong. It is tough to love someone from a distance but when both of you are together, everything will taste even better. Distance between you and your partner can make you fonder of the time you spend together, but truthfully being present will give your relationship a strength you never knew existed. If your love is established on a strong ground, then the absence between both of you will only fire up to a greater love. It takes depth, courage, and consistency to maintain a resilient long distance relationship.
“Distance means so little when that person means so much.”
Until next post, Jess x